56 Years Post-JFK

One of many thoughts on tomorrow’s anniversary…For those of us who had a consciousness in 1963, the profundity of this anniversary of the day JFK was murdered forces us to reflect upon our personal memories of the event. While it wasn’t until many years later that I had any grasp of what had happened meant, or its endless impact on each individual, the day nevertheless has had a thus-far lifelong impact on my development: That day held the first time I had an awareness of being uncomfortable in my own skin.

I was a couple of months shy of 5 years old, but already had a Pavlovian sense of time with regard to my siblings returning home from school. I was playing in the front yard, and saw that Janet and Judy were passing the Docimo’s driveway next door. I knew they were early, and started jumping up and down and laughing, so happy they were home. As they rounded the tree which cornered our properties, I saw that they had kerchiefs or tissues being held up to their faces, and felt that at the exact moment that I was overjoyed, they were bereft. I felt something click internally – some awareness that what I was feeling was not meshing with what was going on.

At 4 years of age, I began losing things. ..I lost a president of whom I had no awareness, and I lost a sense of synchronization with my oldest sisters.